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How to get over a divorce? 

How is life after Divorce? 

How are others dealing with divorce?

How are others coping with divorce? 

Is there some kind of divorce healing?

Can Divorce wounds be healed?

Does a person ever find love after  divorce?

How is life for men after divorce? 

How is life for women after divorce?

 Where can I find divorce recovery?
 

How will Lifeline Recovery Program help me? I am In midst of the crisis   Loss of a long term love relationship  Those in Separation  Those who are widowed.  For those who have been divorced for many years and  still feel shackled to their dead marriage.  Adult Children of divorce  Stopping the pain.  Understanding the dynamics and  Emotions of divorce   Recovery from the effects of divorce.  Where to purchase Lifeline Recovery Program.

Most asked questions answered 
...Life After Divorce

How to get over a divorce?
How to get over a divorce is a question asked by everyone who has truly felt the loss of a significant love relationship, a broken family unit, and the many other losses associated with the loss of a marriage.  First the legal and the emotional divorce must be done. Once both have been completed, then you will feel genuinely free to move on to a different segment of your road of life.
Lifeline Recovery Program contains all the specific areas that need to be faced, worked, and applied to your life in order to get yourself back on track after a divorce. Once those areas of recovery have been  done  you will feel whole again, and strong enough to move on with the living of your life. You will be able to concentrate and feel internally stronger because of the experience, rather than feeling diminished because of the experience. 
When I experienced divorce, I sat in the pain for a long time and I isolated myself. I thought that I shouldn't be feeling such pain. Eventually, it was  the pain that drove me to search for help. I went from one seminar to another, and I would apply what each suggested to my life. I heard many different ideas on how to recover after divorce. Some were healthy and others not. One in particular advised me to bury the pain, swallow my anger...and believed in shaming a person because they had divorced. They shamed me more than the shame I already felt and this did set me back for awhile. ...But eventually... as I learned about the necessity for recovery, started rebuilding my self esteem and learned about healthy behaviors and that empowered me to be able to distinguish healthy recovery and what was unhealthy advice. Counselors, books, seminars, other peoples success stories, and speakers.. all were my teachers. It was a long recovery - but a recovery journey that enriched my life in so many ways. Life after divorce has been very good, in spite of the recovery work that had to be done to get over the divorce...... And it was all of my recovery journey... the difficulty in trying to find the formulas for recovery, experimenting, and mingling with people who had experienced divorce that eventually  motivated me to create the Lifeline After Divorce Recovery Program. Through this difficult time I developed the desire to try to make it easier for others going through the turmoil of divorce. I wanted them to have all the information available to empower themselves as they faced the journey through a divorce. I feel no one needs to wallow in it that pain for a long period of time before beginning their recovery. No one needs to go from one place to the other to find different formulas to apply to their lives. They can start their recovery the day they separate from each other.
People can, and do get over a divorce as soon as they have worked each of the "specific areas of adjustment. " Doing the work leads them into the rest of their lives as wiser people, rather than war torn battered "poor me" bitter people. Yet, most will not seek to do the work of recovery, and for them life most often remains difficult.

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How is life after Divorce?
My life after divorce was rough and painful before I finally understood what I needed to do to take charge of my recovery if  I wanted to feel good about my life.  For me, life after divorce has included much freedom, an especially wonderful love relationships, and many adventures that I would not have done had I still been in my marriage or not done some serious recovery work. I have chosen to live in singleness, first because I enjoyed the freedom of "doing my own thing," I did not have the pressure of not having had children, and then later I experienced some life altering falls and Borelliosis  that now calls for much of my time and at this moment in time I also want to devote my time to writing and coaching. Maybe one day, when I have more time to devote to growing a love relationship, and my health is better, I will want to permanently pair up. For now I am content in my status.
I have a firm belief that working a recovery program, any recovery program, is better than doing nothing at all. There is much work to be done from the aftermath of the loss of a significant love relationship. From my experience with people of divorce or the separated and widowed, is that some do continue to go from one painful relationship to another hoping that one will take and it will heal them of all their past broken love relationship wounds. Others have taken the time to process their recovery and learned about themselves. They have used their past broken marriage to learn about what had worked and had not worked for them, and thereby were able to acquired stronger relationship skills because of their recovery work and their fearlessness to look at their role within the marriage. Some of these people have chosen to build new marriages and are enjoying it, while others are choosing to remain single to enjoy their freedom and full life. And then... there are others who are still standing in the muck ten years later, waiting for someone to come and love them better, still blaming the other for their predicament...they are still very much married by anger to their former spouses.
.......So, life after divorce can be screwed up and  painful,  and for others their lives are even better than prior to their divorce. It is what each individual chooses to make of it for themselves.

How are others dealing with divorce?
How do people deal with things during the crisis of divorce? How do people deal with divorce? How do other people deal with divorce?
For the initiated one, usually, those first weeks are lived in "shock," or in a hope that this is just a nightmare and their spouse will come back ("Denial"), and just surviving, mind racing, trying to figure out what to do, crying, crying, crying or running, running, running... Often they will isolate. They don't tell family, friends or co workers that their marriage has collapsed. They play their marriage over and over again in their heads. They think, talk, blame, try to make sense of the others' crazy behaviors, act insane.... Twenty four hours a day, they keep themselves focused on their lost spouse. They can't stop talking about the divorce and turn into soppy zombies. Then suddenly, with the realization that the marriage is permanently broken, anger sets in. There is fear, pain , hopelessness... Eventually the pain and the feelings are so intense that some will sedate themselves with mood altering substances or activities, others will reach out to others, or seek out support, and  information for divorce recovery.... Maybe this is the very reason that motivated you to ask this question.
While for  the initiator, he or she has already worked through most of these initial stages as they prepared to announce the ending of the marriage, so the feelings will be different. The initiator will feel much guilt and will appear to  rebuild her or his life very quickly..sometimes even before they leave the marriage they have often already aquired a new lover, have a place to move into, and of course most of their grief processing has already been done, so their head is functioning much more clearly than the one who is in shock. They are not sitting around doing nothing...waiting for the other to come back...
Everybody deals with divorce differently depending on the information they possess within them at that moment in time and what information is presented to them during this period of time.

How are others coping with divorce?
Coping with divorce...How do I cope with this divorce? How do others cope with divorce?
All are common questions asked by those who are in pain, big PAIN.. they just want to know how to survive...They just want to know what to do, so they can just hang on ... Some are in depression... (It is just them, their pain and their mind racing, day after day after day..) They want to know what they can do to get a break from the pain...to feel better so they can have enough strength to deal with the legal matters staring them in the face. When people are using the word coping..it is that they are having much difficulty and living is presently very difficult for them. It is to the "coper's  that I particularly want to throw out a Lifeline, so that they can find their way back to the shore. And once there, they will once again find hope as they begin to take charge of their lives through the guidance of the step by step recovery program.

Is there some kind of divorce healing?
Yes, there really is divorce healing and it is a "permanent heal." When people reach out for healing it always means that they have been wounded. Their heart bears love wounds: - The loss of your love mate. - The harsh words from  a person  who used to cherish you. - Your kids that are no longer there to be tucked into their beds at night. -Your kids that are going to be ripped away from you. -Abandonment by your own adult children. -Being left out and harshly judged by some family and friends who feel they must take sides. -Betrayal, loneliness, rejection ...All of these things bruise your heart... It hurts and it should hurt if you are a healthy human being with a healthy heart! It is pure pain. So, when you say, "Is there some kind of healing for divorce?"   it means you are in touch with your self and you are reaching out for some "medicine" to make you feel better.
So what can you do at this very moment? A hug would be good to start with and, of course, taking special care of yourself.... Reach out for recovery. I have over 150 pages in The Lifeline After Divorce Recovery Program..all geared to healing yourself. Until you are healed there is absolutely no way you can truly enjoy life in abundance and you do need joy.
I remember so well, how my heart area had felt. It had felt beaten, bruised as if a serrated knife had cut it deeply. It felt hot in that area. And I could feel the ache there. My heart definitely needed healing. At that time I thought it would remain feeling that way for the rest of my life. But it hasn't... because along my recovery journey I learned that I had to nurture myself  with something that would permanently heal me from the inside out and it did.

Can Divorce wounds be healed?
Yes, divorce wounds can be healed. If I could heal mine, then so can you. Yes, it takes effort, and yes, it means letting go of the anger and the hateful words.. But at the beginning there is a purpose to the hateful words and the anger. It is part of the process.   Yet, it is very important to use your anger to make your life better, rather than have it cause you to do something that will make your life even worst than it already is.
There are many wounds when divorce occurs. Some people were wounded for years prior to the final break, some are wounded at the time of the divorce and during the proceedings and later in the fallout of the divorce...Few are left with their self esteems intact. All this is a part of the fallout of divorce. Divorce is mostly full of hurt. It is never filled with fun. How can it be when you have two people who have loved each other deeply now must try to rip themselves apart from each other. It certainly ain't pleasant!
    From my experience, I can say that yes, the wounds can be healed... not to the point of ever again having the warm fuzzy feelings for the ex, but rather feeling about him like I do for an old pair of  worn out shoes...We had the experiences together, we had a lot of history together, we had some very good times together, he is the father of my daughter, etc, etc. Now we are divorced with separate lives. Now my old pair of shoes are worn out, stinky, all warped, and uncomfortable.. So, we are cordial when we meet.....but I have absolutely no longing whatsoever to wear those old shoes again! It took quite awhile to get to that point ..but the work I did was worth it. It set me free from the anger and fear I carried. It was a fearful journey.- I went through the shaking when I would meet him. I avoided running into him in the store aisle and got sick to my stomach when friends and family would tell me they went to visit with him. And after I finally forgave the pitiful thing for his role in the estrangement of my daughter, I can now have a cordial conversation, with no after effects.

Does a person ever find love after divorce?
My answer is YES.. After I had taken numerous seminars and had picked up more tools to enhance relationships and learned to love myself... I especially enjoyed one particular love relationship ... the communication, the openness and intimacy was so close.. we brushed each others souls and the physical intimacy combined with all that connection was absolutely delicious. But, I will tell you, that without all those seminars, etc., etc., I know I could not have been present "in the moment" to enjoy all aspects of a love relationship. So, yes, you will find love after divorce when you once again learn to love yourself genuinely, as you will automatically attract the same to you. And when you have pealed off, all the residues of your dead love relationship,  you will be able to be in the moment and treat your new love as an individual with his or her own uniqueness, free from comparison to your former lovers..
That is the hope, the possibility, and the reason that I created a recovery program which includes much information for creating  a good marriage system. I wanted to give you the tools to create relationships that grow progressively more comfortable, rather than relationships that grow progressively more uncomfortable.
Everybody in this world wants to be loved, but not all want or can  love others because they don't yet know how to genuinely love themselves. So yes, you will find love when you learn what genuine love is and you choose to give that particular love to yourself and let it overflow to potential mates. When you love yourself they will come to warm themselves around your kind loving heart.

How is life for men after divorce?
Life for men after divorce can be devastating or it can be very good. It depends on you as an individual, rather than on your gender. If you are a male who has never finished growing your feelings, have a belief system that says feelings are unmasculine and stupid, that you mustn't talk about your feelings....then for you, it will be extremely difficult to go through a divorce, because divorce is basically an Explosion of feelings. Or, if you have a belief system that says, "When you fall off your horse..the cure is to jump right back onto the horse, as quickly as you can..." Then you will tend to jump into another love bed quickly to try to cure your fear and pain...and unfortunately it will lead to more pain...because it was not a horse that you fell off of.. You have suffered a major heart wound by the loss of your love relationship. Your marriage broke, and for many reasons.. not just one.  It needs to be explored so that you can be better equipped to grow the kind of love relationship you had so much wanted, and still want. There are many reasons to take time to do some recovery work. Because life is too short to experience broken love relationships, over and over again. ....I know, I know.. we all want instant cure.. but divorce recovery just doesn't come in ''instant."  I have developed the Lifeline Recovery Program which  targets each area for recovery and makes for quick recovery... but it still it isn't instant. It takes longer to heal an emotional love wound and broken marriage than it does to heal a broken leg.

How is life for women after divorce?
Life for women after divorce can be absolutely horrid or it can become better than your past relationship was. Do women cope better? Sometimes they appear to, especially when their prime motivation to survive is for the sake of their children. That's when they put their grieving on hold, ....so they appear okay, yet that can be detrimental to their good mental health, because the grief work has not been started or is incomplete and will come back to haunt them later, but, this applies to both genders.
Each individual woman will cope differently, depending on their own coping skills, and if they are courageous enough to reach out for recovery. Many women have fully grown feelings, and therefore are more able to dump their feelings and discuss with others, so that they can get support. for themselves. Life for women, as for men, is difficult  For stay-at-home mother's, financially it will be very difficult because the career is not established, day-care costs are high, there is less income and the "home and parental work" instantly doubles. It is a period of major change. Women often understand more quickly that they have a choice in controlling the direction of their inner change and therefore will more readily be willing to do the recovery work required to become better rather than bitter.
I have given participants of Lifeline Recovery Program all the information for awareness and for power of choice. No one needs to remain victim. This program is to empower you.

Where can I find divorce recovery information?
You can find information for divorce recovery from coaches, counselors, books, seminars, reading articles on divorce recovery, listening to others who were divorced who are either free of the past residues or still bitterly angry.. You can be motivated to recovery by both, and  of course you can purchase my powerful divorce recovery program. It will coach you directly through each area of the "readjustment process after divorce."

How will Lifeline Recovery Program help me?
1) For those in the midst of the crisis of a broken love relationship-
 The information and suggestions will help you keep your head above water during this time of much insecurity, fear, pain and  powerlessness. This is usually a time when you have many major financial, legal decisions and relocation's that need to be done. Lifeline does not help you with these legal things, but it strives to help you emotionally, so you can make wise decisions and stand stronger during negotiations. I also respond to email for those in crisis that have a need to communicate with someone who understands the process.

2) For those in crisis with divorce, separation, loss of a long term love relationship and loss of a spouse through death.
You can have the complete information on your desktop within minutes. It helps you identify what is happening to you. Just knowing that it is part of the process, and that most of it has purpose, at least helps in knowing you really are going to be okay once you take charge of your life and start doing the assignments. And  you will know what you need to do for yourself at this time.

3) For those who want to stop the pain.
Lifeline will give you the information, the tools and the hands on. It will guide you out of the pain. Doing the work and the processing is guaranteed to get you out of your pain. Everything is planned carefully so that the pain will dissipate as you move from one stepping stone to another and get yourself stronger through each assignment.

4) For those in Separation who want to rebuild their marriage.
Lifeline guides you to discover what in your relationship was working and what isn't. You get the tools to create a solid marriage system. It is not just a band aid to patch it up with. It is about rebuilding a new and stronger marriage foundation. It is to create a relationship that grows progressively more comfortable. It gives you the tools to equip yourself for building the kind of relationship you want.

5) For those who are widowed.
Lifeline is a road map to rebuilding your life. It takes you through each area of adjustment, step by step.  Let not the word "divorce" stop you from using this program. Like the divorced, your marriage has also disappeared, and like most divorced, you did not choose to have this experience. You will find more similarities than you think, and the areas for readjustment are basically the same and you apply what applies to your life.  At less than $2.00 per session, you will find that it will be an excellent investment for the rest of your life. Whether you want to remain single or marry again.. Lifeline will guide you to freedom from the past so that you can be present in your life after the death of your spouse. You do not need to remain in the pain and emotional turmoil forever. It is okay to recover and move forward with your life. If your deceased spouse loved you and wanted what was life enhancing for you... that spouse would want you to take charge of your life and recovery right now and if spouse was not supportive to you unveiling your fullest magnificence, then what are you waiting for? Do the work now and you will attract someone who likes you for being fully expressive in your unique talents, in all that you are... .

6) For those who want to recover from the effects of divorce.
You will find the program as easy as it can be for this kind of work.
You make an appointment with your computer, at least once every two weeks at a particular time and  you KEEP the appointment.... This discipline will get you through. You can stop and allow yourself extended processing time, as long as you eventually come back to it. You can also procrastinate, as long as you come back to it eventually. It will heal you and empower you when you go through the entire program as suggested.
In the program you will be walked through every area of the adjustment process after divorce. Each session is planned to be palatable. You work it as quickly as you want or as slowly as you want. I suggest that you start working it now, and work it consistently as you have no idea how long you will remain in singleness.  You will want to be free from all this stuff when the next relationship comes along for you to enjoy. You want to be at the stage when you are ready to trust again, where you feel secure within yourself and choose a date because you like them, not because you can't stand to go home and be alone,  or want some physical closeness, or want to make your former jealous, or want to bitch about your ex's exploit's and make the opposite sex feel the blows of your anger...  Lifeline Recovery Program is to scrape yourself clean of all these yucky residues of your past love relationship(s). It is to walk you into a fresh new life filled with new  dreams, new goals and new desires... It is to empower you.
The aim of Lifeline Recovery Program is to have you set yourself free from the past and be free and clear to enjoy life after divorce.

7) For those who have been divorced for many years and still feel shackled to their dead marriage.
When you have a desire to finally complete your areas of adjustment after divorce, this program will bring you RELIEF! It will set you free and it will feel good. You may wonder if the information will be redundant, since you have already lived it. It will surprise you, how it will give you a different view, of your divorce experience. It will not bore you and it will not waste your time. You will get much out of it, beside relief.

8) For those who are adult children of divorce.
You can find answers and relief from working the Lifeline program. You too, suffered numerous losses when your parents divorced.  At this time, the program is directed for those with the loss of the love relationship.  I plan to finish the recovery program for the adult children of divorce within the later part of next year. For now, your life can  be greatly enhanced by the Lifeline program. You will be empowered. It will help you in your relationship with your parents, by the simple fact that you will know how to address the changes that are occurring. And you will pick up tools to communicate assertively with them.  It will be easier to deal with the crazy behaviors that have popped out of your parents since the divorce. You will find that you can be supportive in their healthy recovery and that you have a right to not enable their blaming and poor me victim behaviors. It will empower you to ask for what you emotionally need from them.

Parents going through the natural internal change that takes place after a significant loss do often practice some crazy behaviors. They do this as they try to detach themselves with their former love mate, try to adjust to the upheaval in their lives, try to find their position in the reshuffled family, deal with their grief and anger emotions and each different kids way of dealing with there own loss, etc., etc.,.. all these things are difficult for you, especially when you are going through the grief process for the loss of your family as you knew it. The information in The Lifeline Program can be very helpful to you and in time you can rebuild a better and different relationship, with each of your parents. Eventually, if they do their healing work,  they both can be emotionally present for others again, and especially for you.

P.S.
If you need to communicate with someone to say what is happening to you, you are welcome to email me.
When you cannot afford this program, but you are in need of the information immediately email me, asking for what you want.
Coach Louise 
 
 

Louise Gobeil Jenner
Personal Life Coach
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